Thursday, January 24, 2013

New. Old.

Here I am on the other side.  Lucky 13.  I was happy to see the back of last year, but I'll admit there has been a slow creeping feeling of change happening for a few weeks now.  I have finished the part time secondment to another work team, and I am now on leave for a few weeks.  I changed the layout and colours of my blog page, and updated my profile picture.  If you know me at all you'll know this is huge.    Some people change their Facebook profile pic more frequently than they change their undies.  I, on the other hand, like very few photos of myself and can get quite comfy in my rut.

Like a lot of people, I find change hard.  But change has been a recurring theme in this blog.  I guess the old adage is true - the only thing constant is change.  I said goodbye to my psychologist on the weekend too.  She's off on maternity leave for 12 months, and I wanted to thank her for helping me through an incredibly tough year.  I told her how I'd hoped to find some more space for me this year.  If you look back at my blog for the last four years, there has been a lot going on.  Lots of stress and pressure.  Big adult serious stuff.  She suggested that I may have forgotten what it's like to just be me with a normal life.  I think she has a point.

I'm keen to get some more tattoos.  I got three when I was in my mid 20s - early 30s.  And at the ripe old age of 42 it feels right to get more.  I have put things like this off for many years, as I've not had the time or money.  But I feel I'd like a little fun and impetuousness back in my life.  We're also heading down to Apollo Bay for a few days.  This is my happy place.  As soon as I drive along the Great Ocean Road my lungs feel bigger and I feel calm looking at the hugeness of the ocean and horizon.  I can't wait.  I've also begun clearing out a pile of stuff I have in storage.  When I left the Ex, I just had removalists dump a small van's worth of my life into a warehouse.  I haven't visited it much, but I can't afford to pay for it any more.  It's time to sort through my life and lighten my load.  I think I'm in the best headspace to do it at the moment.  A good spring clean can be cathartic.

I'm determined to finish my degree this year.  Just four more subjects to go.  This will be my fifth year of working full time and studying part time.  I'm quite amazed and proud of the fact that life has had nothing but upheaval since I started the course...but I've kept going.  I am getting closer to the finishing line and regaining my life back fully.

So, it's time for fun.  Time for old loves (tattoos) and time for new loves (learning ukulele perhaps?).  Time to clear out stuff I don't need.  Time to find new interests.  Time for old friends and time for some newbies too.   It's time for me.  Let's hope 2013 obliges.