imperfect / perfect
It has been a big couple of weeks. After much stress we have finally reached a point where the house my Ex and I own will be sold in just over a month. It has taken 346 days to get to this point. I can't tell you how relieved I am about this. The end is officially in sight, and in time the past will be just that...the past.
In the meantime I've also been rapidly approaching my 40th birthday with a whole heap of mixed feelings. However, once the stress mentioned above subsided, I've been in a better headspace. But they'll be more about the birthday after I actually hit that weird number.
So, how was my weekend, I hear you ask? Well, let me tell you about it. My parents had sold their house and moved into a retirement village which is all brand new and sparkly and spacious and great for them. I had missed my Mum's birthday and Mother's day, due to the 'no car' factor. But the time had come to go and visit them. Peter and I had hired a car, which was to be picked up in the city. On our way there, the tram ahead of us was derailed meaning we would have to get out and wait for an alternative. On finally reaching the car rental place, the queue was out the door and down the stairs. I couldn't believe it. Somewhere between 30 - 45 minutes of waiting and we finally have keys to a car we didn't order and was bigger and more difficult for me to drive. I eventually got into cruising mode, but then hit peak hour midday shopping traffic combined with roadworks and almost missed the turn off to the main road heading towards my folks. Then we missed the small road turn off into the estate where they now reside. Overall, I was stressed and about an hour later than I thought we'd be.
A nice day was had, their new place is wonderful and well equipped, and I couldn't be happier for them. After a number of hours it was time to head home. The sun was just starting to set and the sky was the most beautiful dusky pink. Driving along with a stream of cars behind me, Peter began to say something. I yelled 'not while I'm driving' and he said I should find the first turn off I could. So there in a little side road in Freshwater Creek, with a service station on one side and a little country house selling apples at their front door on the other, Peter got me to stop the car. And he asked me to marry him. It wasn't what I imagined and it certainly wasn't where I had imagined. At all! But with a heart bursting at the seams, I said yes. We may have giggled like idiots for some time afterwards. Then, as I was about to pull out to go back onto the main road, a semi-trailer raced around the corner and almost collected our car. What a day!
As we drove, Peter said he'd been wanting to ask me for a while. He'd been waiting for things to be more settled, and hopefully sorted with the house. He'd wanted a perfect moment, that would seem the right time. But then with all the things that went wrong on Saturday 15th May, he realised that there is no perfect moment. All these obstacles and hurdles presented themselves, and apart from a bit of stress, we muddled through, laughing and still having a good time overall. And in that moment he knew it had to be now.
It reminds me of a story I heard once about a woman who made quilts. They had ornate patterns and on completing a large quilt she realised that she'd made a mistake. She contemplated unpicking the quilt, but left it. Her reasoning: life is not perfect. So she now purposely puts small flaws in her work to replicate this idea that nothing is perfect. And I've always really liked that.
Life is imperfect, but it's how you deal with it that counts. I have someone in my life who helps me put things in perspective, who makes me smile and be filled with joy, even through all the hard times of the last 18 months. More than my best friend, he is truly my partner. We have a connection unlike anything I've ever known. I can talk to him about anything, even the difficult stuff and even when I have to force myself. And he will always listen. And talk. And understand. And on a day filled with imperfection, the man I love like no other, who makes me feel so incredibly special, asked me to marry him...and it was perfect.