Greetings friends. Well, a lot has been happening in the World of Hurt world. I might get to writing about some of it later. Yes, believe it or not, there are somethings so personal that even I'm not ready to write about them here. Anyhoo...on to what I will share with you today...
A few weeks ago a group of work friends and I went for drinks. Life has been busy for us all and we've not had a chance for a catch up for months. So dinner and drinks were had at a local pub near work. In sitting around the table, one person talked about her depression and how unhappy she was with her life. In talking this through with her I was struck by something. As I looked around the table I realised that the other five of us had taken giant leaps. We'd all faced really hard decisions and changed our lives. One friend had taken a voluntary redundancy from work and gone to be a full time student. The rest of us had all left relationships we were in. Very interesting as I guess it's more common for the man to want out, but we'd all been the one's to change our situations. I have to say I was so thrilled to be surrounded by brave women.
I also attended a forum on campus on e-learning. One of the speakers, an academic from the architecture faculty talked about risk. He saw his role as talking colleagues through ideas and assessing the risks involved. This was the only way to foster innovation. To understand that mistakes are an important part of learning, and that we need to know how to manage fear. So we can 'throw ourselves off the precipice and have the trust that we will be supported to land on our feet'. This blew my mind. I've often described leaving my old relationship as a huge leap of faith into the unknown. No guarantees. But it was agony getting to the point of leaping.
I guess I realised that I was unhappy where I was, and things were so bleak before I had the guts to change. Change is hard and painful, but it feels better than the alternative. The academic described risk management as 'understanding the risks you should take'. And as I think of my friends I understand that is what we've all done. This is of course, no assurance that life will work out how you hope. Our lives are different, happier than where they were, but not perfect. And perhaps that is the reality. Everyone wishes things were different. But do any of us ever get the perfect picture of how life looks in our dreams? I'm guessing not, for most people.
So what exactly am I yammering on about? I guess the upshot is, that life is hard. It's never perfect. But maybe sometimes we need to take risks to see if we can get a bit closer to what makes us happy. But to also find ourselves in a place where we are supported, to enable us to land on our feet. Come what may. To find a way to be happy with what we have, if things don't go to plan. Fear can stop us from doing so much in life. Fear can be a warm, comfortable prison. It's easier to stick with the knowns, than face the unknowns. But perhaps we need to breed a culture of risk taking and resilience. That way, maybe we'll be better placed to deal with whatever life throws at us. As the academic said, we should 'learn to manage fear, and help those others who can't'. One step at a time.