New Year, New...

Happy New Year!  I've blogged before about how I love the symbolism of a new year ticking over.  It's always felt like turning to a blank page in a book.  A chance for things to start again; a clean slate. The last couple of years have been tough one's and I have waited eagerly for the stroke of 12 to make sure I saw the last of the that year.  But this time around, both Christmas and New Year seemed to have snuck up without me noticing.  I barely had a chance to get into the festive spirit before it was all over.

Even New Year's Eve was quiet. I was so tired I was happy to relax at home, making pizza, drinking champagne, glimpsing the fireworks outside and going to bed.  I've been thinking about this in the last few days, as not being in the spirit is quite unlike me.  I have come up with a theory.  As I mentioned, I've waited before to see the last dying minutes of a year of hardship or grief.  The door needed to be well and truly shut (and dead bolted) on the previous 12 months.  The clean slate was a psychological necessity, because in many ways I couldn't have taken much more.

But something weird happened.  A switch was flicked in the last couple of months of 2013, and Peter and I experienced what I've been referring to as 'the golden weeks'.  Within a day of handing in my very last University assignment (to complete my degree) I was offered an acting position at work.  It's just temporary while another position is filled, but it's a step up and a chance to gain experience I don't have on my resume.  A couple of weeks later Peter had an interview for a job, in a new organisation outside of where he was working casually.  I got my results back and finished my degree on a high.  Peter got the job and began working 4 days a week (my utopia) in an ongoing position, yep not a contract in sight.

We both sat and looked at each other.  Stunned.  In a matter of weeks we essentially got our lives back. I get a rest from the study/work treadmill and Peter will have a regular income, and a job he can have input into.  We can begin to plan again.  Within days we made a mental list of all the things we need to do around the house that got set aside.  Life has got a little more space around it and the pressure and burden was lightened.  We can both breath again.

The week before Christmas I had to trek to graduation interstate (another peril of studying via distance).  I took my Mum for the three day round trip.  Being the first person in our family to go to Uni she was incredibly proud.  She said she had a vacant seat next to her during the graduation ceremony.  I was pleased as it was 38 degrees and sweltering in the hall.  But she said it was symbolic of Dad being there with her, watching me.  We may have both had a teary moment.  As far as road-tripping with your 77 year old mother in 38 degree heat, it was actually a pleasant experience.

I remember hearing that David Suzuki had written a book called 'Good news for a change', as he wanted to let people know that good stuff happened too.  It wasn't all doom and gloom and environmental bad news stories.  Sometimes there is good news.  So perhaps this is the point of this post.  I've written about the crappy hard times, so maybe it's time to share the good news too.

I feel like my luck has turned a corner and the sun is shining on us.  In the scheme of things, it's pretty average everyday news.  But harder times make you thankful for any good news, and I'd like to think I won't be taking anything for granted.  In my heart I know that 'this too shall pass'.  Yes - the good as well as the bad is transitory, so perhaps that's why I am happily basking in the moment.  And perhaps also why I wasn't up at midnight on the 31st December thinking 'Fuck you 2013!'

Who knows what the new year holds for us.  But right now it's great not to feel fearful and just simply let life take me where it's supposed to.  I am turning my face to the sun, appreciating the calmness and smiling.  Hello 2014.




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