Today is Oscar Wilde's birthday.  I seem to forget every year, but am reminded as it's also our wedding anniversary.  It seems somewhat fitting that we randomly picked the date we now share with Oscar.  In the first days of meeting, Peter bought me a copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey.  We talked about Oscar and our love of words and word play has continued ever since.

This is also a day I sit and write.  To see where my life is and how each year affects our relationship. It will be interesting in years to come, to read back and note the changes and challenges of our life together.  Or to quote Oscar "I never travel without my diary.  One should always have something sensational to read in the train." 

In the lead up to our anniversary I was thinking about what a tough year it has been.  Peter's toxic workplace nearly broke us both.  Not the relationship, but the stress affected us both greatly individually.  Pile lot's of financial pressure on top of that and it doesn't make for the most riotous 12 months.  Somehow when I was younger I imagined life was to get easier the older you got.  Newsflash kids, it doesn't.

But a little while ago while filling out the census I was trying to figure out our old address.  I could remember the street, but not the flat number.  I trawled through old emails, positive the answer could be located.  It was.  But I also found a treasure trove of emails between Peter and myself.  As he lived over 3 hours away we mostly got to know each other through writing.  We explained things about ourselves (how Peter mixes his sarsaparilla, how I am stubborn because I don't like to admit I can't do things etc).  I couldn't believe how honest we both were.  We painted picture of ourselves that ring so true today.  Little details may have changed, but the essence of us were innocently and humorously exchanged.  We wrote about music, our pasts, our likes and dislikes, our view of the world, all wrapped up with humour and honesty.

Reading those messages I watched us fall in love.  Neither of us saw it coming, but the fascinating new friendship that developed after a chance meeting escalated before we knew what to do. Life is strange and ridiculous. After an hour or so of reading our old emails I looked up.  I saw Peter in front of me and smiled. I had been reminded of who he is and why I fell in love with him.  I wasn't focussed on the stress and hardship we were going through.  And perhaps this is an important lesson to learn.  It's easy to forget the little details.  The reasons you fell in love with someone.  The ache you feel seeing them after being separated for a time. The flip your heart does when you know this person loves you so completely.  Instead we fill our minds with worrying about money, paying bills, work, fretting about how the dishwasher is stacked etc.  And although these are the things that make up life, it is not what makes a relationship.

I feel lucky that I have a written record of the beginning of 'us'.  I also have this blog.  I will remind myself to look back and remember all the things that I adore about my lovely husband.  The bills will sort themselves out somehow.  Our bank accounts may argue differently, but to quote Oscar one last time 'Who, being loved, is poor?'.

Happy Anniversary Peter.  Now we are six.



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