Recently I went to a School of Life event in Melbourne. Hugh Mackay was in conversation with Nigella Lawson, talking about 'why food matters'. I'm not sure what I actually expected. To be honest, I hadn't thought past being in the same room as Nigella. The conversation and array of topics covered were so much more thought provoking and thoughtful than I had imagined. I guess that's what happens when you're interviewed by a social researcher and psychologist.
They began by discussing the symbolism of the kitchen table, inspired by Nigella's latest book 'At my table'. It is a space for coming together, sharing, chatting/interrupting (that was the house Nigella grew up in) and interacting. It was acknowledged that not all families had the same experience, and that sometimes sitting around the table was a stressful and fraught time. Nigella proposed that modern families who all eat separate meals are perhaps a reflection on a fractured society. Does enduring having to eat things you didn't like teach you about life? Hugh mentioned research he had read showing how children who sat around the family dinner table at least five nights a week were less likely to get into trouble, do drugs, drop out of school etc. Does the 'table' represent family cohesion? This includes the family you choose eg. your friends. Nigella told a story that the Mir spacestation astronauts asked for a kitchen table so at the end of the day they could all sit together. It gave them a chance to feel human while in a very alien environment. I reflected on my own home growing up. It was sometimes filled with laughter, as Dad would always try to nick part of my dessert with a looming spoon hovering over my bowl. However, other times I was left alone, quietly sobbing in front of a plate with cold broccoli I had refused to eat. Everyone had finished and left but I had to remain. It's a wonder I like food at all!
"If you visited someone's house and they didn't even offer you a glass of water, you would feel uncomfortable. Not because you would die of thirst, but because you weren't being welcomed into someone's home". As soon as these words left Nigella's lips I thought of how true they were. When we invite people into our homes, offering them food is to give part of yourself, and conversely if they bring something to your home they are giving of themselves. This made me reflect on how I've changed in the last 10 years. I was never very good at socialising in my own home. But now we have people over and cooking for them is a joy. I get quite excited thinking about what to offer people. Perhaps I'm in a better headspace to give of myself. My anxiety about feeding people is diminshed.
Can food be a source of comfort? Nigella said emotional eating or binge eating should be called 'discomfort eating' as you aren't really enjoying the experience. Comfort traversed to nostalgia. Hugh suggested we enjoy eating food from our past as we live in a particularly worrying time (is the nuclear apocolypse around the corner?). We have survived the past, we do not know if we will survive the future. This is why food nostalga is so comforting. Nigella's take on this topic: As her Mother died young she likes to make her recipes so she can remember her. And in feeding this food to her children they get to know the grandmother they never met. This nearly made me cry. It's such a lovely thought. Of course the food is slightly different, ingredients may be hard to get and our own way of cooking is individual, but the children get to taste their grandmother's food through the lens of Nigella.
Hugh quoted that 24.4% of Australian households were individual occupants. This figure is on the rise. Yes many of these people are choosing to live alone and have wonderful independant lives. But there is a percentage that don't. They may be widowed, or through other social issues have found themselves isolated. Many people living on their own don't 'cook for one' as it doesn't seem worth it. Nigella said she loved cooking and eating alone. Self care through food was showing a bit of love and respect for ourselves. We are worth it. Even if it's a simple dinner of something on toast. Hugh suggested the best way to combat social isolation was to invite someone to our table. Extend kindness to a neighbour who may seem lonely. Nigella's philosophy is to invite someone to christmas dinner that the family doesn't know well enough to misbehave in front of! *insert much laughter from the audience*
They discussed the increased anxiety present in society, and suggested that cooking is a 'mindful' activity. Like all simple creative outlets, gardening, photography etc, cooking is a great way to be present...in the moment. And you don't need to be 'good' at it to be able to do it. I just adored this thought. Poor Peter is often found trying to help with dinner, yet I religate him to chief onion chopper (I am consistently blinded by onions) or sous chef. I really do like cooking when I come home after work. I just wish I had more time. I've found since going vegan our range of foods and recipes has expanded greatly. We constantly try new things, inspired by the great online vegan blogger community. (shout out to Isa Chandra and the Minimalist Baker for their inspiration). They suggested you can't really cook and watch tv or listen to an audio book at the same time. You have to focus on the task at hand.
This lead to the difference between cooking and baking. If you pop ingredients in a pot to make a stew you pretty much know what you'll end up with. Baking however, is a mystery. Nigella's description: you mix eggs, butter, sugar and flour together, put it in a tin and through the 'magic box' is transformed into cake! And at heart don't we all wish to be transformed? I will forever refer to my oven as 'the magic box'. It's true - sometimes baking is like playing roulette. Every so often something doesn't work - a sunken center, too dry, under cooked or doughy. We've all had a kitchen disaster. Nigella offered that how we deal with the disaster can be a life lesson to children. They observe how we deal when things don't go to plan. Is it the end of the world? Can we bounce back and save the day, or do we simply chalk it up to experience and move on.
It was then over to audience questions. Here were my favourites. One woman who has turned vegan lives with her carnivore husband. Now as they eat different meals she worried if she'd created a scism in their relationship. Nigella replied that if they accepted eachother's differences and still happily ate together, their relationship was clearly strong enough to survive. A young man who loved cooking said he worked long hours and the inspiration he'd had for dinner during the day evaporated once he was home and exhausted. Nigella suggested that cooking was much like exercise. The thought of doing it can be far worse than the reality, and we always felt better afterwards if we'd made the effort. Another guy said he was an engineer but really had a passion for cooking. He asked how you turn your food dream into a reality? Interestingly Nigella responded saying she was a home cook. She doesn't make her living from cooking, and so many people restaurant owners refer to it as an excellent way to lose money. She spoke of being a journalist and tv presenter. But if forced to cook for a living she feared she would lose her passion. I thought this was an incredibly interesting perspective, as we all associate Nigella with food. She suggested he focuss on blogging about his food - being authentic and offering his own voice (not trying to be anyone else).
And so the conversation was over. Insightful. Delightful. Humourous. Exactly what you would hope for. I had purchased a book and hoped to get it signed. But alas there was an incident in the queue and over 20 people pushed in and muscled me out of my place. I was aleady about 100th in line and heartbrokenly I decided to leave. I didn't get to thank Nigella for her inspiration. Maybe (hopefully) there will be a next time. For now I have these wonderful thoughts to contemplate why food matters and the memory of a great evening.
They began by discussing the symbolism of the kitchen table, inspired by Nigella's latest book 'At my table'. It is a space for coming together, sharing, chatting/interrupting (that was the house Nigella grew up in) and interacting. It was acknowledged that not all families had the same experience, and that sometimes sitting around the table was a stressful and fraught time. Nigella proposed that modern families who all eat separate meals are perhaps a reflection on a fractured society. Does enduring having to eat things you didn't like teach you about life? Hugh mentioned research he had read showing how children who sat around the family dinner table at least five nights a week were less likely to get into trouble, do drugs, drop out of school etc. Does the 'table' represent family cohesion? This includes the family you choose eg. your friends. Nigella told a story that the Mir spacestation astronauts asked for a kitchen table so at the end of the day they could all sit together. It gave them a chance to feel human while in a very alien environment. I reflected on my own home growing up. It was sometimes filled with laughter, as Dad would always try to nick part of my dessert with a looming spoon hovering over my bowl. However, other times I was left alone, quietly sobbing in front of a plate with cold broccoli I had refused to eat. Everyone had finished and left but I had to remain. It's a wonder I like food at all!
"If you visited someone's house and they didn't even offer you a glass of water, you would feel uncomfortable. Not because you would die of thirst, but because you weren't being welcomed into someone's home". As soon as these words left Nigella's lips I thought of how true they were. When we invite people into our homes, offering them food is to give part of yourself, and conversely if they bring something to your home they are giving of themselves. This made me reflect on how I've changed in the last 10 years. I was never very good at socialising in my own home. But now we have people over and cooking for them is a joy. I get quite excited thinking about what to offer people. Perhaps I'm in a better headspace to give of myself. My anxiety about feeding people is diminshed.
Can food be a source of comfort? Nigella said emotional eating or binge eating should be called 'discomfort eating' as you aren't really enjoying the experience. Comfort traversed to nostalgia. Hugh suggested we enjoy eating food from our past as we live in a particularly worrying time (is the nuclear apocolypse around the corner?). We have survived the past, we do not know if we will survive the future. This is why food nostalga is so comforting. Nigella's take on this topic: As her Mother died young she likes to make her recipes so she can remember her. And in feeding this food to her children they get to know the grandmother they never met. This nearly made me cry. It's such a lovely thought. Of course the food is slightly different, ingredients may be hard to get and our own way of cooking is individual, but the children get to taste their grandmother's food through the lens of Nigella.
Hugh quoted that 24.4% of Australian households were individual occupants. This figure is on the rise. Yes many of these people are choosing to live alone and have wonderful independant lives. But there is a percentage that don't. They may be widowed, or through other social issues have found themselves isolated. Many people living on their own don't 'cook for one' as it doesn't seem worth it. Nigella said she loved cooking and eating alone. Self care through food was showing a bit of love and respect for ourselves. We are worth it. Even if it's a simple dinner of something on toast. Hugh suggested the best way to combat social isolation was to invite someone to our table. Extend kindness to a neighbour who may seem lonely. Nigella's philosophy is to invite someone to christmas dinner that the family doesn't know well enough to misbehave in front of! *insert much laughter from the audience*
They discussed the increased anxiety present in society, and suggested that cooking is a 'mindful' activity. Like all simple creative outlets, gardening, photography etc, cooking is a great way to be present...in the moment. And you don't need to be 'good' at it to be able to do it. I just adored this thought. Poor Peter is often found trying to help with dinner, yet I religate him to chief onion chopper (I am consistently blinded by onions) or sous chef. I really do like cooking when I come home after work. I just wish I had more time. I've found since going vegan our range of foods and recipes has expanded greatly. We constantly try new things, inspired by the great online vegan blogger community. (shout out to Isa Chandra and the Minimalist Baker for their inspiration). They suggested you can't really cook and watch tv or listen to an audio book at the same time. You have to focus on the task at hand.
This lead to the difference between cooking and baking. If you pop ingredients in a pot to make a stew you pretty much know what you'll end up with. Baking however, is a mystery. Nigella's description: you mix eggs, butter, sugar and flour together, put it in a tin and through the 'magic box' is transformed into cake! And at heart don't we all wish to be transformed? I will forever refer to my oven as 'the magic box'. It's true - sometimes baking is like playing roulette. Every so often something doesn't work - a sunken center, too dry, under cooked or doughy. We've all had a kitchen disaster. Nigella offered that how we deal with the disaster can be a life lesson to children. They observe how we deal when things don't go to plan. Is it the end of the world? Can we bounce back and save the day, or do we simply chalk it up to experience and move on.
It was then over to audience questions. Here were my favourites. One woman who has turned vegan lives with her carnivore husband. Now as they eat different meals she worried if she'd created a scism in their relationship. Nigella replied that if they accepted eachother's differences and still happily ate together, their relationship was clearly strong enough to survive. A young man who loved cooking said he worked long hours and the inspiration he'd had for dinner during the day evaporated once he was home and exhausted. Nigella suggested that cooking was much like exercise. The thought of doing it can be far worse than the reality, and we always felt better afterwards if we'd made the effort. Another guy said he was an engineer but really had a passion for cooking. He asked how you turn your food dream into a reality? Interestingly Nigella responded saying she was a home cook. She doesn't make her living from cooking, and so many people restaurant owners refer to it as an excellent way to lose money. She spoke of being a journalist and tv presenter. But if forced to cook for a living she feared she would lose her passion. I thought this was an incredibly interesting perspective, as we all associate Nigella with food. She suggested he focuss on blogging about his food - being authentic and offering his own voice (not trying to be anyone else).
And so the conversation was over. Insightful. Delightful. Humourous. Exactly what you would hope for. I had purchased a book and hoped to get it signed. But alas there was an incident in the queue and over 20 people pushed in and muscled me out of my place. I was aleady about 100th in line and heartbrokenly I decided to leave. I didn't get to thank Nigella for her inspiration. Maybe (hopefully) there will be a next time. For now I have these wonderful thoughts to contemplate why food matters and the memory of a great evening.
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