In recent months I have found myself uttering the words 'I can do this' on an almost daily basis. First thing in the morning as I get out of bed. At work, when I'm about to go to a meeting. Or heading off to do something I've never done before, or go somewhere unfamiliar. I can do this.
There are times when life does seem so bloody hard. Tiring. Emotionally or mentally exhausting. Really, on any given day who wouldn't prefer to be in bed for an hour or two longer and have some time and space to yourself. But the cold, hard reality is that reality can be cold and hard. Some days you feel like you are losing... I can do this.
I was talking to a friend recently about how often I say these words out aloud to myself. Usually the people around me join in and confirm, that I can indeed do whatever it is I'm about to do. I smile, take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. I can do this.
And this is perhaps a good thing to share with others. Life is complicated and messy. It throws things at you from left field all the time. Good and bad things. As I get older I live in two states of mind. Day dreaming of a life down the track, where I am doing the things I want to do (travel, have more space around me, catch up with friends properly, see more trees, breathe the ocean air) and the here and now of one day at a time. Some moments all I can see if one step in front of me. One foot in front of the other that gets me into the shower and ready for work, or off the couch and out the front door. I can do this.
When you're younger you kinda hope or imagine how your life will turn out. Looking back it seems like some hilarious joke we play on ourselves. I promise this isn't the beginning of my mid-life crisis. I've just been chatting to friends recently and it's made me self-reflective. Through this I've realised that I compartmentise. Sometimes you just have to box something up and push it to the side while you deal with something else. I used to wonder if this was a bad thing. But, as long as the box is opened at some point it's really a good coping strategy. Some people feel all the feelings all the time. They are raw. An open wound, when a crisis happens. We all need to be that sometimes. But we also need to function in some way. Buy food, feed the cat, go to work. At times of crisis I've found work an escape. A place to focus on something other; get outside my own head. Then, when I'm alone in my car driving home I can let the wave of emotion I've been ignoring all day engulf me. When I walk through the door at home, I focus again on something simple, like making dinner. I can do this.
In the midst of difficult times it's hard to remember that this too shall pass. In fact, all things pass...the good and the bad. Nothing is static. You just have to get over the current hurdle. Get all your supports around you and try to practice a bit of self care. Simple things, like eating well, getting enough sleep and talking to people (friends or professionals). You can do this.
Sometimes the person/s supporting you through hardship also need support. It can feel harder for the support person because they can do little to make things better, except keep everything functioning and wait. People have to process things in their own time. But other people's grief and turmoil can overwhelm you. Waiting it out can feel isolating. So get your supports around you too. You can do this.
I realise how lucky I am to be able to box and compartmentalise, to talk things through with kind friends who listen with care and offer hugs, to be resilient even when I feel close to breaking. I smile at those people who answer my 'I can do this' chant, responding in agreement. It's nice to know people have my back. In talking to some dear friends I have also realised how important it can be to hear these words. So, this is me, telling you that you are amazing...and you can do this.
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