Hi, how are you? Fine thanks. No...how are you really? This was always the part of the conversation that made me bite my lip. People you know really well, always go beyond the automatic pleasantries. How are you really? If I was struggling or having a difficult time, this was the moment I opened up. Sometimes through welling tears. I feel like COVID-19 has meant all conversations we have are going deeper. No-one is hiding behind the automatic response anymore.
A few days ago, Melbourne notched up an infamous milestone. We've now been in lockdown longer than anywhere else in the world thanks to COVID-19. It's exhausting. Every single person has their own struggle for different reasons. I've managed to get through full time work and part time study. I can only face one subject at a time, but it's meant for a large part of this year I've sat a stared at a computer screen 7 days a week. It's also why I haven't had much time to write for myself. It's frustrating, but I've had to step away from the computer.
Not that I've done a very good job of looking after myself. Like many, I've chased a dompamine fix via food, alcohol, tv/movie binging and online shopping. And the combination of work, study and a cold winter means I've stayed inside. A lot. Days and months passed, seasons changed, my hair hasn't been cut in 5 months and life has mostly been a blur. Individual days in non-years. How are we heading towards Christmas? All I know is I'm tired and my pants are tighter.
How are you really? There's been a lot of discussion about the impact lockdown has had on mental health. People complaining on social media and on the streets that lockdowns were causing more suicides. In fact, that's not the case, as these reports show. Won't somebody think of the children! Home schooling and no playgound access created groups like the Shadow Pandemic (not to be confused by the term Shadow Pandemic relating to domestic violence increases during COVID-19). The need for mental health support has grown during the pandemic and both State and Federal governments have responded with increased support and funding. To understand the impact on mental health, read this amazing article by a psychologist talking what it's like to work in mental health right now. Everyone is doing it tough and needs support.
What I think the pandemic has done, is give more people a taste of what it's like to live with mental health issues. Depression. Anxiety. Financial stress and strain. Insecure work. Family or relationship stress. Sleep problems. And although budgets have been increased in response to COVID-19, it still isn't enough or being put in the right areas. This article from the Conversation highlights "people typically receive far fewer sessions of psychological therapy than recommended despite the increasing availability of services" and "we’ve seen that increasing services leads to progressively more people receiving services that are too thinly spread or poorly targeted to make a real difference." While "another reason past government expenditure has not improved national mental health is that prevention has been neglected." I remember hearing former Australian of the Year Patrick McGorry describe some mental health funding initiatives such as increases in critial care beds, akin to placing ambulances at the bottom of a cliff. It's helpful, but not as useful as looking at ongoing preventative care which steers people away from the cliff in the first place.
So how are you really? People have been talking of things 'going back to normal' once the vaccine rollout reaches the right percent and things open up again. The reality is even if these things happen, I can't see us springing magically back to how life was in 2019. I think the impact of a global pandemic will be with us for a while. Sure, we will go back to work, if we're lucky enough to still have a job. See friends and family. Hug people. Have a beer in a pub, see bands, theatre, galleries and movies. But we are changed and the impact will be with us for a while. The future might look like mask wearing, scanning QR codes or sanitising. But just maybe there's chance for a greater understanding of a life lived with mental health issues. Can we learn from the greater shared experience and support vulnerable people who struggle each and every day?
OK. So of course this is personal. Being married to someone with a long history of mental illness gives me a front row seat to the difficulties faced just navigating the world. We might all be hoping for a brighter future and the heavy fog of COVID-19 to lift from our lives. But can we also remember how this moment in our lives feels and lobby for even more mental health support and care? We have shifted beyond the social politeness of 'fine thanks'. We can use this moment of honest feelings to help. Don't let the wall of civility rebuild when life starts looking like it used to. I know so many people who have needed support during the pandemic. It's been damn tough, but we should be insisting the community receives even more care. What is the point of having an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff? Keep asking. Keep answering honestly. Keep caring. How are you really?
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