And on it goes. Here we are a few weeks later, two trips to the Magistrates Court, a chat with a lawyer, many screenshots recorded, a visit to the Australian Electoral Commission to find an address for our cyber bully and we seem no closer to having an end to this awfulness.
There have been a few steps forward...the lawyer we spoke to emailed our bully with the intervention orders and then mysteriously the sites with the mistaken identity ridiculousness of Peter and I as anti-fascist bloggers are 'down for repair'. However, we are still monitoring his social media feeds and various sites for anything that looks like a breech of the order.
That all sounds good, and like it's achieved what we wanted...however I find having to read through the hate-filled depressing rubbish beyond exhausting and excruciating. It makes me realise we are all living in our own bubbles.This TED talk explains how so many internet sites and social media channels feed us the information it thinks we are interested in and filters out everything else. But more than this, I'm guessing we select a lot of where our information comes from and reject those channels we deem unreliable or biased. What this does is magnify the feeling that everyone around us feels and thinks the same.
And this goes for the 'haters' too. I'm sure all their feeds are filled with the same vile, anti everyone who isn't white, male and well...just like them. After spending time monitoring one persons feed I can feel it wearing me down, having a really negative affect on me. Like continually dipping my toe into a toxic wasteland, I feel ill and full of despair.
The only saving grace is that 2017 has seen a shake up. It's been a year of white male privilege learning about the word 'consequence'. Beginning with the Harvey Weinstein scandal showing that being rich and powerful will only protect your adhorrent behaviour for so long. Then the rise of #MeToo (here's another article on that), culminating in the Silence Breakers being named Time magazines person of the year. Suddenly the tide had turned. People were being held accountable for their behaviour. Men even started outing themselves for terrible behaviour (in an act of jumping before they were pushed?), a mea culpa stance before the tide of public admonishment began to swell around them.
It's also, and incredibly importantly, a battlecry for women. The realisation that in numbers, with support from each other, they can be heard and believed. Previously women felt alone and powerless, that consequences via official channels had forsaken them. But there was always the unofficial channel. Women talk. More articles were written highlighting that women have shared information for years about preditors and dickheads in various industries, including movies, music and comedy.
It's felt like there was change in the air until I had to dip my toe back into the stream of toxic hate from the cyber bully. And I doubt until actual consequences change this, his behaviour will remain the same. I guess this is why we are trying to do something. Legally, protect ourselves from the world of crazy.
Our bully was busy trolling people on Christmas Day. A time of year when everyone should be spending time with people they like, spreading good cheer and generally being happy. It reminded me of this line from Harry Potter (Order of the Pheonix), when confronted by Voldemont and told he will lose. Harry response: You're the one who is weak. You will never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.
Maybe this is what I take from 2017. Haters are gunna hate. But I am lucky that I have good people around me, who help remind me that the world isn't full of toxic arseholes. I'm lucky that they make me laugh, offer hugs, are kind and generous, and I know we all have each other's backs. So Haters may hate, but this lover is also a fighter.
There have been a few steps forward...the lawyer we spoke to emailed our bully with the intervention orders and then mysteriously the sites with the mistaken identity ridiculousness of Peter and I as anti-fascist bloggers are 'down for repair'. However, we are still monitoring his social media feeds and various sites for anything that looks like a breech of the order.
That all sounds good, and like it's achieved what we wanted...however I find having to read through the hate-filled depressing rubbish beyond exhausting and excruciating. It makes me realise we are all living in our own bubbles.This TED talk explains how so many internet sites and social media channels feed us the information it thinks we are interested in and filters out everything else. But more than this, I'm guessing we select a lot of where our information comes from and reject those channels we deem unreliable or biased. What this does is magnify the feeling that everyone around us feels and thinks the same.
And this goes for the 'haters' too. I'm sure all their feeds are filled with the same vile, anti everyone who isn't white, male and well...just like them. After spending time monitoring one persons feed I can feel it wearing me down, having a really negative affect on me. Like continually dipping my toe into a toxic wasteland, I feel ill and full of despair.
The only saving grace is that 2017 has seen a shake up. It's been a year of white male privilege learning about the word 'consequence'. Beginning with the Harvey Weinstein scandal showing that being rich and powerful will only protect your adhorrent behaviour for so long. Then the rise of #MeToo (here's another article on that), culminating in the Silence Breakers being named Time magazines person of the year. Suddenly the tide had turned. People were being held accountable for their behaviour. Men even started outing themselves for terrible behaviour (in an act of jumping before they were pushed?), a mea culpa stance before the tide of public admonishment began to swell around them.
It's also, and incredibly importantly, a battlecry for women. The realisation that in numbers, with support from each other, they can be heard and believed. Previously women felt alone and powerless, that consequences via official channels had forsaken them. But there was always the unofficial channel. Women talk. More articles were written highlighting that women have shared information for years about preditors and dickheads in various industries, including movies, music and comedy.
It's felt like there was change in the air until I had to dip my toe back into the stream of toxic hate from the cyber bully. And I doubt until actual consequences change this, his behaviour will remain the same. I guess this is why we are trying to do something. Legally, protect ourselves from the world of crazy.
Our bully was busy trolling people on Christmas Day. A time of year when everyone should be spending time with people they like, spreading good cheer and generally being happy. It reminded me of this line from Harry Potter (Order of the Pheonix), when confronted by Voldemont and told he will lose. Harry response: You're the one who is weak. You will never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.
Maybe this is what I take from 2017. Haters are gunna hate. But I am lucky that I have good people around me, who help remind me that the world isn't full of toxic arseholes. I'm lucky that they make me laugh, offer hugs, are kind and generous, and I know we all have each other's backs. So Haters may hate, but this lover is also a fighter.
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