Christmas. It's complicated.




I am a self-confessed Christmas tragic. I think fairy lights are magical. I love (most) Christmas music. I love the smell of spices, alcohol and dried fruit together. I even coordinate a Christmas decorating competition at my work.  Yes, competitive Christmas decorating!

Christmas used to feel simple. As a kid you woke up and hey presto, presents, food and family. But as I get older it seems so much more complicated. I'm aware that the pressure of a perfect family day is unachievable for so many. Whether it's tensions that seem to be amplified when everyone gets together or missing a dearly departed loved one and noting their absence on the day. There isn't always money for presents or banquets. We are sold an ideal thanks to TV, movies and even celebrity chefs.

Christmas this year felt fractured. Peter didn't want his Dad to be alone at Christmas, even though he had been invited to spend the day with many people. His health means coming to us in Melbourne is too hard too.  Peter had read something recently, saying the best present you can give an aging family member is your time. So, we decided our Christmas would be spent together sometime after Christmas day.  For the last two years each of my brothers have celebrated Christmas  either on Christmas or boxing day depending on their own extended family commitments. So I've alternated who I get to see depending on what Peter and my plans are. Luckily seeing Mum is a constant.

Through social media I've seen many Christmas orphans come together.  Whether it's people who have lost their parents, are estranged from their family or simply far from home. There have been call outs online so people aren't alone on Christmas day. Bring a plate and spend the day meeting new people or like minded souls. Whether it's a vegan group or people living interstate from their families. There has been an extension of goodwill and community. Sometimes family is the people you choose.

As Peter has been visiting his Dad I've dragged out all my Christmas CDs.  Somehow I've amassed over 30 ranging from much loved and played every year to terribly kitch or just plain awful! I've been playing them for days in the lead up to Christmas day, trying to figure out why it is that I love it so much. Yes, there is joy and love. But many songs actually make me quite emotional. Tracey Thorn provided the answer. She realised a beautiful Christmas CD a year or two ago. The lyrics of the opening track had tears running down my face. 

You loved it as a kid, and now you need it more than you ever did
It's because of the dark; we see the beauty in the spark
That's why, that's why the carols make you cry
Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy

 
I guess is essence this is it. Life is hard.  It's complicated. Times are dark. But fairy lights sparkle with the possibility of magic. See, I told you I was a Christmas tragic.
 
Before Peter headed off to see his Dad, we talked about Christmas. He said he wasn't really into the whole Christmas thing...but watching how happy it makes me, makes him happy. Thank goodness. I guess he knew he married a crazy Christmas person.

After days apart he's coming home today. We'll do our Christmas cracker, silly paper hat wearing day tomorrow. The nice thing is that we'll be together.  And as life gets more complicated, simple things like being together feels like magic.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas whenever or wherever with whoever you celebrated it with.  May your days be merry and bright.



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